Atheist Feminist Narcissist Question

Empaths are liars

Empath oppression is real and very pretentious. Humans don’t need empathy to know something wrong is done to some people for reasons that are wrong. We already actively help and support other humans to benefit and cover human arses for selfish and spiciesist reasons. Human privilege is something to hold on to. But of course most empaths are empty inside and they require their feelings of superiority and pity stimulated if they were to offer their help….. Therefore empaths also help others for self rewarding reasons and validation of superiority just like narcissists…. The need to be needed is what an empath calls “feeling for others”. People with low empathy usually know if a neighbor gets robbed, you don’t feel his pain dialing 911. You are worried about the possibility of YOU getting robbed, too. That’s enough to help/support one another…..if you don’t stop it, the whole humanity get robbed and you can’t just be a lion when this happens.

Things I always find myself saying

1. I really can’t deal
2. It’s just too much
3. You are disrespectful
4. You ask to be babied
5. Why do you complain so much?
6. You are unmanageable
7. I don’t have time for this
8. Do what you gotta do
9. Whatever
10. Fuck outta here
11. We shall see
12. I guess nobody likes to be wrong
13. You can’t take criticism
14. You take everything personal
15. I’m not gonna entertain this
16. You don’t have to like me
17. That’s irrelevant
18. It’s all about business
19. This ain’t goodwill
20. I don’t deal with emotions
21. Too much ego
22. Just do your job
23. Mind your business
24. I’m a human too
25. Get over it

Controlling you is controlling happiness

Why did CONTROL matter to you so much then and why now?

 

 

He asked. White American cool kid on Crisis line. I said because I didn’t feel loved and nurtured. My need for this hurt me all my life. So I replaced it with power and control of others therefore situations. If I had power over them I had control of their respect and obedience
I needed this more than I needed anything bc this was my happiness I was trying to keep safe and untouchable

Controlling my need to be approved was to be the one who did the approval. Always experienced collective animosity from beta rivals so I knew that came with alpha matriarch personality… which benefits me more than it hurts my progress in more power therefore control is what keeps me isolated from how ppl see me…. Their criticism does not matter if I can fire them or leave them for good and for life….if I can control the amount of hurtful comments about me then I am happy and respected… Unloveable child is asleep for now while momma is out there being an alpha female fighting her mommas voice every day I know she disliked me for a reason she was dislike able and I was her child….. If I can be the powerhouse their hate couldn’t make it to me…… That’s happiness I need and fight for…..I know I am unloveable but I hate to be reminded of my childhood pain

 

 

 

BDP OR NPD?

I wondered if I had borderline personality as oppose to NPD. I had to find out what was exactly causing my rage and issues with people so I was honest with myself. I acted more like a NPD bitch than a BDP princess. I took pride in my reluctance in suicide or cutting. I also don’t agree with drug use being self harm. Since I use them for rewarding purposes. To switch dimensions and experience self. I use it to disassociate from everything that’s bothersome and unfair. Hell if drugs cause harm than I should think of it as a side effect because drugs let me stay out of jail and in the country.
Anyways I knew I was not solely BDP but possibly had NPD comorbidity issue at hand but I had to disagree with its possibility. If one uses superiority as power vs codependency to stay in control is what it all boils down to. Control is what controls us. We lose more of it when we try to get more of it. We both need to be needed and as irreplaceable as possible but NPD makes them feel that they need us bc we are better. BDP will make them feel they need them bc bdp person makes the other one better…. NPD deals with fear of abundance by leaving the scene while BDP stays to turn things around. Both without sufficient anger management skills are self defeating and impulsive. BDP will play the victim well while NPD will judge and prosecute someone else for causing them the anger burst
BDP will cut self to disassociate from a painful experience while npd will fantasize about torture and payback

When I block your man but he loves this evil bitch…..

Narcissist’s Love

Who woke the semi-dead
Who woke the kitty kat
Who ignited the spark
Then who kept in the dark
Then look dead in her eye
The mute, the rude the deaf tone
The moot, the void, the death row
I gave him lava, bonfire, inferno
The bad, the ugly, the numb, yo.

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The Narcissistic Gaze Part 2

Here is the part two
A poem I wrote for you
Mic check one two
Fat Lady can you cut the blues
Let’s focus on this poem I named “Black and Blue”
A metaphor for the dead when their skin changes its hue
With love I never felt,
With respect that was never due
Mourning for you with your #MCW
He is taking it very hard like I do
So I may have to use your lube
This is a remix to No Vaseline by Cube
And play it at the funeral home and post it on YouTube.
After all this could have been all avoided
But I will engrave the first verse on your tomb, granted

You were an exceptional woman
With substantial image you depicted, a narcissistic challenge that got accepted
You wanted to hit first
So you gain recognition
Instead you are released on your own recognition
Into the mud you go, what an unfortunate departure
Like a first time offender in the worst penitentiary with the most fear in his heart but the loudest mouth as his front
A sucker who will get sucker punched then served as lunch. A lame who can’t come out to the yard but his cell is too hot

and that bunk bed is too hard for that hurt butt. You seek dominance in a wild place, you get put in your place which is underground. You get smart with the wrong one, let’s watch you become organic matter then a mere mineral. You took the wrong turn or looked the wrong way, it ain’t a homicide, There is no criminal
The crime is nonexistent if it’s a suicide
you play with matches, you get burnt, science y’all.
Better play with suitable matches cuz this mismatch will hurt you love
Idk who you are
too burnt to identify
won’t be the same after all like a butterfly on day five
Dead but buried alive
You go out once and for all
Talk that lame talk
Walk that shame walk
Had folks stayed in their lane
They wouldn’t have ended up slain

The Narcissistic Gaze: when looks actually do kill

The Narcissistic Gaze (part 1)
First I would like to define the gaze then share a poem I wrote for you to perform at your service. I don’t ghost-write but I may have to, after all you are a ghost now, all praise due to me, the superior one to you.
the flow is supreme
word play is sick, wish you played it safe but you live what you pick. Here is good read with an evil plot, who want it?

A public announcement lest you wanna be slick. First let me explain what a narcissistic gaze is so we are all on the same verse as I spit it on my next blog entry as they announce who wins. Come as a surprise cuz it’s a wrap for you, gift wrapped with hate and signed by fate for you
Ask your doctor if rat poison is right for you
Fuck flowers, I send a gift basket
This morgue is too cool for my cold heart
give me a fucking blanket
Don’t worry you are too dead to feel it and your casket is cushioned
As I sip this old fashioned with Bulleit Bourbon
I am buying you custom bullets that will free u of your burdens
You loved good fashion if only you could afford it – too late now
Cuz all you got is this body bag girdle

The funeral will be lit, the only event you could have hosted
Too bad you had to be dead to experience it. Survival of the fittest too bad you weren’t a fit to excel in this.
The gaze ain’t nothing to fuck with
It is the look that can and will actually kill. Not only that, it will haunt you like a bad dream
The gaze that kills and shows up at your open casket viewing
someone better film it
It is a show, you better work it
it is a slow but sure death so you better murk it
And I will be twerking in perfect rhythm
You better follow the script
The come back is lethal and psychotic.
Your life wasnt shit
Your move was not that bright
Cuz I dimmed it
Stay still like you have a choice
You was one hideous bitch
Now you drop dead gorgeous

The Narcopath’s Angst

Female Narcissist and Anger issues (of others with it)

My Narcissism does not bother me. Once again for the “narc abuse survivors” out there, we have no problem with our condition. At least I don’t because I know it contributed to my successful career, all my exes still call me desperately and I got some money I was able to save up when I laid off the drugs a little. All praise due to motherfucking me. Narcissism is fine overall but I have one tiny problem with it. It is like taking your favorite stimulant. You enjoy the ride till the end because in the end you are left with your signature anger. That anger angers you farther because People have issues with it telling you (me) that you(I) got “anger issues”.

Anger is something I can DEFINITELY feel. It is like the most understood and felt feeling I have ever had. Empathy idk about that, sadness I feel from time to time but I got inappropriate reactions when I am expected to be sad, I definitely don’t know much about other feelings. I definitely don’t know shit or care to know shit about OTHERS’ feelings they seem to feel full-fledged to a motherfucking fault.
But anyways, this anger though.

It is powerful. It is unavoidable, low-key enjoyable but causes issues with others or within others ultimately affecting my long term plans and making me lose certain people’s sympathy or support when I act upon it. So I need to learn how to control my anger, which is familiar, comfy and impulsive but a definite hinderance.
I hate all kinds of hinderance whether it is a feeling that I don’t wanna feel, a person I must get along with but can’t, money that I don’t have etc. like why do you wanna hinder ME? I work hard for mine, I try hard af to fit in and live amongst dumb and ignorant people, I am not even from this country yet I manage even though I deal with the stupid Immigration laws and same ol’ social expectations. Like give me a fucking break. But no, “let’s get her angry so her true thoughts about us come out which will be self-defeating to her since we can’t defeat her ourselves”. I feel like my anger is what people have been using against me and we can’t have that. We meaning me, myself and I. That’s why we gotta go learn how to control it. Go join an anger management class or something, do what weak people do. Ask for help. Yeah something gotta give. I admit I need help managing my anger. I can’t have NOBODY control my OUTCOMES due to my anger. It has got to be dealt with.

Yup.

Female Cerebral Narcissist

The misinformed already thinks female humans cannot have ASPD or NPD. So, as a Female Cerebral Narcissist,  I am not surprised but highly annoyed that there is very little, if any, about female cerebral narcisissists. All articles assume the narcissist to be male and talk about the misogyny “cerebral narcissists” have while disregarding ALL FEMALE CEREBRAL NARCISSISTS as we do exist but not understood or explained. So I will do it for you.

A female cerebral narcissist is also asexual.

– We do like to be touched, adored and worshipped and we do NEED to know we can sexually excite you and we must be  able to seduce you or manipulate you with sex. Therefore we can’t withdraw sex totally since it is a very powerful weapon and advantage we have over you. It is also a great way to make you behave and check yourself. We already don’t wanna have sex so imagine how we take advantage of a pussy timeout you are placed on for acting up

 

a female cerebral narcissist is a man eater

the way a male cerebral narcissist is known to be a misogynist! the female c. Narc is a flaming feminist. She thinks patriarchy is the cause of all of her problems , at least in theory, and at the core and she is not incorrect. We feel that we are put at disadvantage by being women because the world is male-friendly and hates women by default. What happened to Gaia, the divine goddess who birthed  Humanity only for us to deny her and create our own male Abrahamic gawds.

 

a female cerebral narcissist also loves her father and her roots.

daddy loves him some me and this will never change. My mom has a great partner in life even though she is a somatic narcissist and unfortunately daddy is a great narcissistic supply.

 

My roots is the reason why I am the queen. I will be self made, I will be in power, I will lead.

 

 

Being a Mistress as a Narcissist

I knew this was not for me.

This should be for nobody who has some type of self love and respect. I thought I had plenty. This caused me a deep narcissistic injury and I ain’t proud to talk about it. I of course walked away with a debris I caused behind me and for him to clean up. And know I will be the thought that makes him ejaculate when he jerks off away from his obese ass wife, who he did not find attractive enough. He was an opportunist Until he met THE opportunist, me, bless his Soul. That he never fucking had. That I liked about him. As an atheist, I know soul is not even real. The only thing real is I hate this feeling that I am unfamiliar with. I don’t necessary feel like a loser. Because I gained things out of it. He was a great supply for my narcissism, he understood I was fucking crazy and capable of doing things. He loved how aggressively I wanted him for myself thinking he was the reason for my crazy ass ways. It turned him on, I played the submissive chick very well in bed, then dominated him in other settings, then when I wanted to reward him for his efforts to make me feel good, I played the submissive bitch again. Oh he loved it. He still jerks off to this mere thought as we speak. I loved how he jeopardized everything he had. His little image that was all a facade, the family man he wished he was but his penis disagreed with. His little family so ith this sad ass fat bitch who didn’t even fight for him, who already knew about me and was ok with it. Yes, I sure did let her know one day.

I sure let her know one day because I was too good to be a secret.

By the time this actually happened, I had warned her joke of a husband numerous times. He knew I was going to do it one day and he barely cared. I loved that he didn’t care but it was due to something else than what I wanted and immediately figured It wasn’t. It was due to the bitch being accustomed to his cheating ass ways , his lies, his affairs and no good nature. She just “turned her head to the other way”‘ she “knew not to look for it”. I was just perplexed. This bitch could not have been serious and this must have been a boring ass dream but it wasn’t.

The wife of the man who I had been feeding nothing but pussy and steak was on the phone telling me she knew about me and all the other weak shit u could never catch me exhibit. She had accepted the fact that I am banging this dude. But then again she knew she was the winner as long as she thought of her title as a win and she did. She just loved being someone’s wife and the mother of his seeds. I thought she was a loser because I wanted to take her man. I sure did not want to marry him cause he couldn’t offer me more than what he has had by marrying me. I also generously avoid commitment by nature. So she was a loser for settling for that dumb shot. I lostinterest right there and then but now there was a new challenge… I will talk about that soon as well but let me replay this song by J. Cole.. “She fix with small town n….s I GOT BIGGER DREAMS…”